And the best fall goes to....drumroll, please: Me, Meleia Bridenstine, Queen of Clumsiness, Princess of Awkwardness, Dutchess of Mishaps. Ugga Bugga is all I have to say. Let me go ahead and set the scene for you: It begins with a moment, that for most of the population in the year 2008, would be a joyous time of relaxation, envy from hearsayers, etc. However, it's a Meleia Moment, so you have to imagine it's gonna get all Amelia Bedelia. In my pain, I must laugh, because it is absolutely surreal to think I could be in another one of my moments. Before I really get into the crux of my mishap, let me go ahead and give credentials to why I've earned these titles, they come with such merit: 1-working at BiLo as a teenager, dropped a giant thing of mayonnaise and and it broke three other glass objects right below it breaking the entire ring up operation on a Saturday morning, 2-as a college student falling into an elevator in the unextended arms of a group of lawyers right after general sessions court and having to ride up 15 floors with the lawyers and a throbbing toe, 3-as a teacher sitting in chair where the screws had been removed and not just falling in front of kids and onlookers, but scraping my backside against the bench behind the chair and 4-Backtracking a little, at 17, I ran over my cousin's big, huge collie that should have been visible, freaked out and then backed back over the dog. Who does that crap happen to? (PS-The dog was fine.) Okay, I hope you are getting a laugh out of moments that are so thankfully not on tape anywhere, because at this moment I have a #5 that pretty well takes the cake: I got a gift certificate for a massage for mother's day and after the massage fell down a whole set of stairs on the way to my car. CLASSIC. Basically, I had on flip flops and it was raining, the stairs were exterior stairs, steep, old and painted (behind Fine Store). Libby keeps saying, "mommy's clip clops made huuu faww in duh wain." So...my friggin' arm hurts like h-e-double hockey sticks, everyone at the nearby GreenSpot (mostly Dalton High football players as bag boys) probably saw it, and my massage and its benefits are a faint memory. If you still don't think I've earned the award for crappiest moments, let me know, I'll blog about the many I've left out. Remember this is coming from a chick whose dad didn't even flinch when I tumbled down the stairs from my room as a highschooler. Crash, nothing, no family reponse necessary....it's just Meleia falling down her steps......Mom's nickname for me has always been, "Grace"........last summer I fell out of my house into the garage floor............so, can I, can I, CAN I GO AHEAD AND TAKE THE AWARD?????
12 comments:
Not that any of you doubt this post, but to vouch for all of the instances she listed in the post, I will add another that she momentarily was fortunate enough to forget. Leaving Cadek Conservatory after a music class and bundled up in the biggest coat anyone could possibly wear, Meleia didn't just step off the curb and fall, didn't just lay there trying to get up like Gumby due to the oversized coat, it all happened in front of her acquaintence who I only know as "Gap Girl". To which Gap Girl responded, "Oh my gosh, you just totally fell...and you're still laying there...I'll see you later."
Of course, I still love you!
Steven
Well, you forgot about the bicycle ride at Chastity's house where you had to get sixty stiches on your forehead.
Sorry that happened Meleia, God keeps us humble.
Love you Sister!
Sanna
Oh, the girls are going over to nana's right, I haven't talked to you and K is planning on going.
OK, OK - From your post and the 2 previous comments, I think it's sure official...the award goes to you!!
Too funny- Yep, I'm the type of person that laughs when I see somebody fall....it's a shameful disease
Shana
NO NO NO !!! The title is mine and I refuse to relinquish it. After all I've been at it longer than you have. Mine are always very public and very unforgetable. My latest was on our trip, landing face first in the sand at the Santa Monica Pier in front of thousands. i guess we're just two peas in a pos, trouble times two.
steven's mom
LOL!!! I am laughing and laughing and laughing and I have been sick all week long, so, in essence, I needed a GOOD laugh--- Thanks Meleia!!
Oh, I sure do super love your blog!! I hate to hear of all of your falls, but I am SURE enjoying laughing! (That sounded mean, but I didn't mean for it to be mean. I meant it in an endearing way, truly.)
No, really, I am SOOOO sorry you fell right after your awesome Mom's day massage... that is such a shame to lose the benefits of a great massage!!
Love you girl! Hang in there!! I hope you are not in pain very soon!!
Love,
Cyndi
Meleia, from Mom's reaction on the phone when she saw you, "OMG Meleia what happened to you." You must be pretty bruised. If it makes you feel better I fell twice in school and once at work each time was in front of people whom nothing ever bad happens to them and on each occasion they got a good laugh out of me. I fell down the bleechers in sixth grade in front of the eighth graders at Eastbrook the entire gym got quiet-as I hit each step going down-I prayed that I was seriously injured but I had to stand up and nothing was hurt but my pride. That was the worst. Talk to you later.----Sanna
You do seem to have a dark cloud over your head, but it definitely has a silver lining!
Here's another one I forgot: I dropped my bookbag on the colorguard captain's toe in high school and it broke her toe the day before a competition.....Disaster, WTH (waiting to happen).....Meleia
One last one from Steven's memory bank: In 9th grade we were at the Y working out and she accidently pushed a very fast setting on the treadmill and it threw her into the wall.
HOW FUNNY! I think you have won the award! And for the record, our dog Lady only lived like 3 weeks after she was run over by you...:)
Ya' know, after reading all those comments-I feel like you need some encouragement. I've never seen you fall or be a clutz (sadly, I might laugh like Shana). HOwever, until you AND your grand family announced and decided to SCREAM it out to all of cyberworld- I just thought you were a normal(maybe not normal),but graceful typical person. I'm probably gonna look at you differently now. I might hide my pets (from the previous comment) and I probably wouldn't let you carry my children down some stairs or across a crowded room, BUT I still think you are an incredibly funny person with probably the most unique personality and disposition of anyone I know. Also, if I was having a really, really bad or sad time, I think I would want to run into you, because you'd probably cheer me up. I don't mean you'd fall or anything, but you would definitely, probably do something to make me smile. :)
AND one of our youth from our previous church realized that she knew you. She did some kind of something with the highschool and was in your room at NHE. Her name is Kayla and she thought you were really funny, too. Just found that out last night when she was hanging out at our house. Bernie was here (too) and we were talking about blogging. I told them I had a friend with a really funny blog. I said your name and they knew who you were...go figure...it's a small world.
I know I had already heard the Gap girl story, but had no idea of all the other ones! :) I am with Terri, you would also win an award for making people laugh!!! Now, that's a gift!
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